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10 Reasons why Social Media has Ruined Modern Dating

by Nupur Sharma
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April 14, 2017Social Media

Whatever happened to long love letters, waiting for that one phone call on the landline, traveling long distances just to get one glimpse of your lover, living in the fear that nobody should find out. Where are those days?

If you’re a hopeless romantic chap stuck in the age of tinder and Grindr, I feel you. Strongly. Social Media might be great; it helps you reconnect with your old buddies while at the same time keeps you updated as to who’s traveling where, and which lucky friend is attending your favourite band’s concert, there is something about social media that you might be ignoring. And, it’s serious.

Romance in the modern age is dead and who is to blame? Is it gone forever or is it just a phase?
We have turned into these digitised attention seeking monsters with constant need to show off our life.

Let’s look at the top 10 reasons why Social Media has screwed the current dating scene:

1. All Show, No Game
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How often is it that you come across the most cheesy pictures on Instagram with even cheesier captions that go with hashtags like #bae #RelationshipGoals #ForeverLove? Everyday, right? To tell you the truth, the need to prove that your love is better than the others just goes to prove that there is something missing. If it were so perfect, you would not feel the need to show it off like that!

2. Monogamy? Anyone?
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Believe it or not, online dating discourages monogamy. With apps like Tinder there are just so many options available that no one is willing to be committed to one relationship. Everyone wants to explore their options before they finally decide to settle. Who likes to be in a relationship and deal with all the fights and fuss? Isn’t it better to just “chill” and have a good time?

3. Easy Hookups
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Gone are the days when you finally gather the courage to ask out the girl you’ve been thinking of for months, and she finally says and then comes the much awaited kiss. Do things work like this anymore? Naah! Today’s fairy tales have become a little different- you go to a bar, find somebody cute, hook up with them and next morning you might or might not see them ever again. Short and sweet? Whatever works.

4. How about some Privacy?
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Relationships are no longer the private intimate affair they once used to be. There were times when a relationship meant something that was shared between two individuals. This something was so intimate that it was even hidden from the world. This was before Facebook and Instagram entered the scene. Now a relationship is not complete until and unless it says – “In a relation” on Facebook. If your boyfriend has not updated his relationship status on facebook. Is he even serious enough? HIghly stupid, but yes, we’re in THAT age now. Call it superficial but until and unless you’ve updated one selfie on Facebook, your relationship isn’t even a relationship! Jeez.

5. All’s fair in love and war? But is, Infidelity?
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In this generation of people who lack both the will and the ability to sustain long term relationships, you can’t expect loyalty much. Not trying to sound pessimist, but chances are that in your lifetime you have either been cheated on, or you’ve cheated on someone. Hurts? It’s true.

6. Instant gratification of needs
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If it isn’t now, it’s never. This seems to be our philosophy with everything. We have become so impatient in our lives that we want our desires to be fulfilled as and when we want. To take an example, if we want food, we will no longer make the efforts of going to the kitchen, and spend an entire hour cooking, we’d instead open Zomato and order the food of our choice. Same is the case with dating, if we desire some one today, we no longer want to wait for the person. If we can get the person at the moment, good. Else, there are plenty other fish in the sea!

7. Real Conversation is dead
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How often two you see a couple out on a walk and just talking to each other? Not much. The reality isn’t like this anymore.Now we see couples out on a date, and instead of talking to each other, we see them absorbed in their own phones whatsapping other people, using various apps. Point being, we don’t really make an effort to know the one we are dating anymore. Real conversation is dead. Period.

8. War of Couples
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Whatever is personal, is public now. With all selfies, all personal moments shared all over social media, people have started entering a war. A war of who has a cooler relationship. It has become a rat race. Snapchat is another platform for you to show off your life. This has created a culture of growing insecurities. You want to be better, better than other people on Snapchat.

9. Moving on is easy
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If moving on was ever easy, this would be the time when it would be the easiest. If breaking up gives you a mental picture of a person sobbing for weeks refusing to get out of bed- you’re thinking of the stone age. These days breakups aren’t that hard. In fact, ‘happy breakups’ is what people believe in now. You break up one day, and next day you’re on a date with another girl/boy. This may sound a bit sad, but we have reached here.

10. Trust? Come again?
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Trusting your partner is the one thing you should always do. But is it not natural to just doubt them more in an age that gives them so many options on an everyday basis to cheat on you? This is another reason why people cannot sustain long term relationships. Insecurities creep in even if there is no reason to doubt.

Social Media might have helped us in many ways and opened many doors which were probably closed for so long. It is not even a question that our lives now circle around Social Media but have you ever imagined how different your dating life would have been if there was no Social Media at all?