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6 Myths about Bollywood that Should Be Changed Right Now

by Arpit Toshniwal
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Coming from the mouth of a person who is pure “desi” at heart, this might sound tangential to the people who think themselves to be too cool to love Bollywood anymore.

1.) Bollywood -> Uncool.

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People who stopped loving, believing and, fighting till the end are the same individuals who bias themselves with the stupidity of one-night stand! The mere idea of it has been plotted by the foreign ideologists, and, then we blabber about why don’t we see love anymore?

I mean how can you expect someone to even notice the unfathomable presence of love when you’ve provided your counterpart with the things that he/she might be interested in, from the beginning?

Also, he/she is usually told to be cool about love as things don’t happen in that way anymore! It’s not their fault, really! Instead, this can be accredited to the lightning-fast lifestyle of couples as depicted in the Hollywood movies.

(Know about the reasons why social media has ruined modern dating, here)

Movies provide us education and inspiration and everything a person could be interested in, but, there is something called influence which says that if you tell someone what he/she needs, for like forty times in a day, he/she might as well comprehend to the same!

This concept is very famous in the literary culture and can be seen in the novel “1984” by Indian-British writer George Orwell, where the protagonist was forced to believe that 2+2 makes a 5. (Bollywood also had similar ideologies when Govinda said something about 1+1 being 11, remember?)

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2.) Bollywood Music v/s Hollywood Music

Forget it; I don’t have any whatsoever expectations left from you guys anymore, as when you see or hear the utter sexist and male chauvinistic lyrics in Hollywood rap records, it looks cool! But when our desi rappers do so, they get labeled as pricks and sometimes even get barred from entering a college as well! Why such double standards bro, maybe we are just, Uhm, Indians?

Tell you one thing, and I’m sure this would help you understand:

“Tujhe Dekha Toh Yeh Jaana Sanam, Pyar Hota Hai Deewana Sanam!
Ab Yhan Se Khan Jayein Hum, Teri baahon me Mar Jayein Hum”!!

V/s

“Oh, Nigga, that’s that nerve, why give a bitch your heart when she rather have a purse? Why give a bitch your inch when she rather have nine?
Took a broke nigga’s bitch, I can make a broke bitch rich, but I don’t f*ck with broke bitches, Oh Oh These hoes ain’t loyal.” Something like that!

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Well, if that shit is creative then Honey Singh is Rap God, and Eminem is Yo-Yo, and Lil Wayne is really sent by God to teach people how to rap! (I don’t believe it, do You?)

It’s not a matter of belief, psychology or “language”! Most importantly language as English me bola to chalta hai na? No! This shouldn’t be the case! What’s wrong should be labeled as wrong without making any fateful compromises.

3.) Hollywood Movies v/s Bollywood Movies

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Hollywood always gets away with such “things” by unfailingly reminding us that they have provided us with such gems like Avatar, 12 Angry Men, Pride and Prejudice, Frozen, etc. I know that list is probably longer than the Saree of Katrina Kaif in the movie Welcome, but let’s not go there as I feel it’s slightly loath full to talk about the things that only you want people to hear and never say a word about what they really should know! Also, I want to remind you that it’s them who gifted us with excellent movies like Epic Movie, Alpha House, Jennifer’s Body, etc.

Need some more, what’s better than telling you that they have got an award show named Golden Raspberry Awards, which is solely dedicated to honoring their accomplishments and they have got 1000s of names there that might tell you the same.

I’m not saying that Hollywood is overly hyped, all I’m asking from you is to make “politically correct” remarks whenever you compare between a Bollywood and Hollywood movie, as we also have produced some stupendous movies like,

Mohabbatein, Rockstar, 3 idiots, Gulaal, Highway, Lagaan, Kahaani, Taare Zameen Par, Kal Ho Naa Ho, Gangs of Wasseypur, My Name is Khan, Chak de India, Barfi, Dangal, Masaan, Titli, Parched, Madaari, Mother India, Hindi Medium, etc.

Ok, I accept the fact that I Have Googled their names, but that’s the whole point, isn’t it? How well have we forgotten the cinematic jewels of our time and, how are we paying back for those beautiful memories, by our petty ignorance? Which I have many reasons to believe will continue in the future as well.

4.) The Fast Lane.

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Things need to change from now on! You tell me how do you suffocate yourself by deeply and madly loving a cocaine-induced organization which may run its course once you cut off its supply?

I mean what’s the longevity of such industry? You do the Meth, Oops sorry, Math, I mean!

When you do things, you start to see things that may open up another world of reality which transcends into your brain so deeply that it holds the power to influence many more generations to come, but, whatever success it provides, the cause is equally important in determining its direction. (Just like the marks of procedure and formula to calculate an answer in mathematics)

Let’s take an example of Eminem! To be perfectly honest with you, he was a junkie! And having done things helped his brain to fill that clot of darkness with the drug induced hyperactivity, which resulted in getting him a free flow of words that we normal humans naively think to be superficial. Well, it’s a scientific fact that drugs open up many levels of human brain and also impart the necessary concentration for a task as well. I’m just saying that maybe got benefited by that while we “normal beings” count his verse per seconds using a stopwatch!

Serj Tankian, Kurt Cobain, MJ, literally every pop or rock artist that you can conjure name of, was or is a junkie. What’s great about being a junkie is that people confuse your delusional words with wise sayings as for them you’re God, but at the end of the day, it all comes down to which one of you did better quality heroin!

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Well, it’s a fact whether you accept it or not! I’m not saying that only drugs are behind the good things that Hollywood has gifted us with, but, think for a second, since we are all God’s children and therefore have been awarded the same mental capabilities, so, if every Bollywood guy starts doing Drugs like them, we may all end up with an “Inception” of our own, but, you wouldn’t like that, would you?

(Know about various Social Media Myths, here)

5.) Bollywood! = Paisa Vasool.

Coz guess what, it’s Indian and also its Bollywood and, Bollywood should only make shitty movies, right? (Remember, what happened with Anurag Kashyap’s film named “No Smoking”, well, that’s what we do to good Bollywood movies. Okay, you don’t remember the film, I’ll wait!)

If you really want to compare then do it with Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan Sahab who died while singing the song which led him to his death, or Harivansh Rai Bachchan Sahab who wrote whole poetry on “Madhushala” all the while never stepping into a real one (His son did the same with his movie named “Sharabi”) or A.R. Rehman who never once let his music be hindered with chords of dependency.

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Let’s get the facts right, there’s a reason why Bollywood doesn’t make good movies, and that reason is us when we choose to avoid watching films like Aligarh, Nil Battey Sannata, Trapped, Raman Raghav, Haramkhor, etc. If they won’t get enough money in return for their efforts then why shouldn’t they just wish us Happy New Year on the very next day of Diwali?

I will do the same if I get the money out of it. We don’t appreciate good plays, we think rock music is only limited to throwing your head up and down in a whimsical fashion so that your hairs fall back right at your face, and also, we certainly don’t like to buy local! So, maybe we deserve to be schooled about things that should or shouldn’t be considered before speaking out, and we can start doing that from today!

6.) Bollywood is Unoriginal, Plagiarized, and well, Unrealistically Mediocre

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“What Blunder! Don’t you know that unoriginal and plagiarism are synonyms of each other, and then you have the naivety to call yourself a content writer”?

Oh, is that so? Allow me to tell you something!

These days both of these words bear separate meanings, as people have stopped writing their minds and have wholeheartedly accepted the basic fact about content writing i.e. the job of a content writer should only be limited to reframing phrases and sentences.

Plagiarized content is the one which is copied from somewhere on the internet, whereas, unoriginal is the one that is copied and then “reframed”. The reframing includes synonyms, jumbling with words and much more such brilliant gimmicks.

I accept it! That most Bollywood movies tend to get inspired or easily influenced by other industries, such as Tollywood, Hollywood, etc. But, it’s not their fault really!

Don’t our Mama always used to tell us, “Dekh Woh Sharma Ji k Ladke ko 90% aaye hai, Kucch Seekh Usse”!

Been raised in such an explicit environment, we’ve learned to copy others. Whatever we do with ourselves, we are always curious about what others are doing with themselves. So, if a movie performs well on the Box-Office and has a great story, then, Bollywood usually gets complex with that Sharma Ji Ka Beta being successful and tries to ruin the experience as significantly as possible. However, Some of the Bollywood movies have also been copied shamelessly by other industries without even a mere mention, one of them named “A Common Man” which was the adaption of the infamous Bollywood crime drama classic “A Wednesday” got remade in Hollywood and later went on to win many awards.

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Now, coming to the “unrealistically mediocre” remark, it’s majorly articulated on the basis of action scenes, CGI, and, romance portrayed in Bollywood films. Well, for real action and CGI work, Bollywood lacks funding, and for good romance, people lack appreciation. As they still believe in the fairy tale stories of a King on a horse or an Angelic Woman sitting in the window. (If no one does, I still do!)

Well, the recent success of “Half Girlfriend” shows that there are many people like me who hide behind the shadows and are not ready to wake from their sleep, not yet! So, without audience raising their mediocre levels, how can the industry take the chance of taking chances? That too when their content is bringing them enough money.

The Conclusion

Just like every other industry, Bollywood is also in the business of selling. The best way to make yourself heard is simple and sweet i.e. stop calling out. Stop going to the films that do not stand tall in critics’ ratings or user reviews. Stop compromising with your taste for films just because they are releasing it on a particular holiday (Oops, did I say that out loud?). Stop calling yourself a Bollywood fanatic if you don’t love SRK (No points here, just a forceful suggestion like the democracy in every peace-loving nation of the world!).

Or else, we can all just chill out and bash Bollywood on the Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and, what not, just like everybody else is doing or planning to do. My mother always tells me, “Beta pehle Karke Dikhao, Phir baat Karenge”, I have the same suggestion for these guys as well. There is a famous quote for the same which goes like, “Being in the world for so long that I’ve become a contributing part of it”. I don’t know who said it and what it means as it’s only for you to determine.


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